I was good for my clan. Starting around the time I was learning to walk, actually.

I was nine when the first real test came. The plague hit, most of the children my age lost their parents. The only adult who treated me like a child was my mother's cousin. She died then. I helped carry her body away. Learned to pretend the corpses were dolls. I did the same with a lot of people I loved. And...Merrick's father, when he killed himself. He was in pieces then. Hanged himself, and it decapitated him. Merrick and I were both watching. Some of the members of my clan will feel like I've abandoned my duties. My Keeper said I already fulfilled them. I really can't tell the difference.

[But that's rather gloomier than Alistair deserves to feel.]

It's not all like that. Just enough of it that you feel tired, and quickly. I'm glad you escaped.