A dress goes on you, and then later I get everything he's dressed in off. Privately. It's simple math, plus one, minus one. And then perhaps we get coffers refilled on top of that, more math.
The man who's apparently going to be turned on by watching me make an idiot out of myself? That one?
[ Just checking. ]
I don't care, [ he clarifies, because there's dignity in not caring, and that's the only dignity he has. ] You can invite whoever you'd like. But if we're stooping to fundraisers, we can do better than just me. I bet Teren could make some crafts to sell. We could find a big bone and tell people it's from the Archdemon.
He's not going to be turned on by you. It will be my thoughtfulness that does it.
[He's tempted to stick out his tongue. He refrains. Barely.]
Do we really want to make that big a thing out of it? Only I'm planning on having a big thing sometime soon and I don't want this to take away from that.
[One is far more dear to his heart than the other.]
replying by email for the first time ever, sorry for format fails
Yyyess, your thoughtfulness in arranging for me to make an idiot out of myself for him. [ How dare you. He earned that tongue. ] Fine but important distinction.
[ Then he raises his eyebrows. ]
No, we don't. We don't know that our ancient and shadowy order has fallen so far it needs to resort to gimmicks. We think there's nothing wrong with going back to good old-fashioned favors for people we hardly know instead. This was, as they say, [ and a pause, as if he's about to say something profound ] not my idea.
People we hardly know who resent us until there's a Blight, and even then were they happy to see you? There's two more blights coming at least, who knows what the Darkspawn might do when the last two archdemons are gone...
[Anders shakes his head.]
They might just wind up following former magisters. Whether or not we're liked, we're needed. But I'll not charge admission. We'll find another way to increase our funding.
I guess you have my RL email address now if you ever need it
Never said anything about being liked, [ Alistair says, but he's
smiling. ] I don't have any pride to ruin, but the Wardens
do. Sometimes. A bit.
[ People have to be afraid of them, mostly, or their Right of
Conscription is nothing, their ability to requisition goods evaporates, the
treaties might as well have BY VARRIC TETHRAS written at the bottom.
]
Besides, I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone likes me.
[ That's sarcasm. ] Almost as much as they like you.
Do the Wardens? Clarel's coup, the saving of me...
[He trails off and shakes his head.]
Then again, who is making wise choices right now? You're going to walk a tightrope in a dress, I bought Nathaniel a mabari so now I have to live with that, and I hear Blackwall is renting his beard out for homeless nugs.
Yes, what were you thinking, [ Alistair drawls, flat and
rhetorical--the mabari, he means. He loves dogs! But Anders doesn't, and
that he lives with one now is his own fault. ]
Anyway, I'm proud we saved you.
[ Despite the sideways smirk and a tone that wouldn't be out of
place if he were flirting, that's earnest. ]
[He smirks right back at Alistair. Nate suddenly being interested has taken away his safe flirting target, and here's someone who is decidedly not into men.]
Mm. I'm sure you are.
[His voice is sultry.]
I do know how to raise... morale... don't I. And I know how to show my... gratitude.
[Anders leans in slowly, eyes intent on Alistair as if he's about to confess something.]
Would you like an extra potato with dinner tomorrow? I can grab another.
[His lips are twitching with repressed laughter, eyes dancing, as he slowly reaches out and rests a hand on Alistair's wrist. Bluffing isn't something he's ever been good at, and when he's not exactly trying to seduce someone it's all the more difficult.]
Then I'll make sure you have an extra potato.
[He can't continue it for long, though, and he starts snickering.]
Thank you, darling, [ Alistair says, in a flat sort of way, because he has to say it flatly to keep from laughing, as well. A puff of laugh-like air still escapes. ]
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A dress goes on you, and then later I get everything he's dressed in off. Privately. It's simple math, plus one, minus one. And then perhaps we get coffers refilled on top of that, more math.
Are you done insulting the man I love?
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[ Just checking. ]
I don't care, [ he clarifies, because there's dignity in not caring, and that's the only dignity he has. ] You can invite whoever you'd like. But if we're stooping to fundraisers, we can do better than just me. I bet Teren could make some crafts to sell. We could find a big bone and tell people it's from the Archdemon.
no subject
[He's tempted to stick out his tongue. He refrains. Barely.]
Do we really want to make that big a thing out of it? Only I'm planning on having a big thing sometime soon and I don't want this to take away from that.
[One is far more dear to his heart than the other.]
replying by email for the first time ever, sorry for format fails
Yyyess, your thoughtfulness in arranging for me to make an idiot out of myself for him. [ How dare you. He earned that tongue. ] Fine but important distinction.
[ Then he raises his eyebrows. ]
No, we don't. We don't know that our ancient and shadowy order has fallen so far it needs to resort to gimmicks. We think there's nothing wrong with going back to good old-fashioned favors for people we hardly know instead. This was, as they say, [ and a pause, as if he's about to say something profound ] not my idea.
Your email is rude
People we hardly know who resent us until there's a Blight, and even then were they happy to see you? There's two more blights coming at least, who knows what the Darkspawn might do when the last two archdemons are gone...
[Anders shakes his head.]
They might just wind up following former magisters. Whether or not we're liked, we're needed. But I'll not charge admission. We'll find another way to increase our funding.
I guess you have my RL email address now if you ever need it
Never said anything about being liked, [ Alistair says, but he's smiling. ] I don't have any pride to ruin, but the Wardens do. Sometimes. A bit.
[ People have to be afraid of them, mostly, or their Right of Conscription is nothing, their ability to requisition goods evaporates, the treaties might as well have BY VARRIC TETHRAS written at the bottom. ]
Besides, I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone likes me. [ That's sarcasm. ] Almost as much as they like you.
If I do I didn't notice it.
[He trails off and shakes his head.]
Then again, who is making wise choices right now? You're going to walk a tightrope in a dress, I bought Nathaniel a mabari so now I have to live with that, and I hear Blackwall is renting his beard out for homeless nugs.
At least one of us is profiting.
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Yes, what were you thinking, [ Alistair drawls, flat and rhetorical--the mabari, he means. He loves dogs! But Anders doesn't, and that he lives with one now is his own fault. ]
Anyway, I'm proud we saved you.
[ Despite the sideways smirk and a tone that wouldn't be out of place if he were flirting, that's earnest. ]
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Mm. I'm sure you are.
[His voice is sultry.]
I do know how to raise... morale... don't I. And I know how to show my... gratitude.
[Anders leans in slowly, eyes intent on Alistair as if he's about to confess something.]
Would you like an extra potato with dinner tomorrow? I can grab another.
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blushing.
Blushing faintly, while smirking, but still--some things will never completely change. ]
I would love an extra potato.
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Then I'll make sure you have an extra potato.
[He can't continue it for long, though, and he starts snickering.]
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Of course, dear. I know how you Fereldans like bland things.