byblow: (Default)
Alistair ([personal profile] byblow) wrote2015-10-30 11:28 pm
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crystal • notes • drop-in visits • etc.
complaints about the wardens go here
mythalenaste: (of all the human misery)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-03 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Instead of speaking, which would be impossible, she hands him the letter.

Da'len,

We are deeply grieved. No, you may not join our clan, and we will not visit. Even if our Keeper agreed to it, we would not see you. We will not take in a First who abandoned her duty to her clan, nor accept a flat-eared bastard as our grandchild. This should come as no surprise to you.

We thought you were better than this.

Enansal
mythalenaste: (strong)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-03 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It doesn't matter either way, because what she really needs is his shoulder to muffle loud, ugly crying. It's a storm, rage and grief and horrible, crushing despair, poured into the solid comfort of his shoulder. All of Beleth's words to her come back, sitting cold in the pit of her stomach. Beleth was right--she has no place among the Dalish anymore.

When the crying calms, she remains leaning against Alistair, in that state of exhaustion where she isn't exactly comforted but she feels less pain. In the quiet, Sina starts kicking again. Or rather, she headbutts Alistair hard enough that Pel grunts. She pulls away, wiping her reddened face with a sleeve.

"Thank you," she says hoarsely.
mythalenaste: (in the face of so much pain)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-03 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Pel nods and sits on a bare-ish patch on the floor of the tent. "What are you reading?"

She doesn't think she has to talk to Alistair. She might, after a little reading, but he already knows what this is about. That's why she came to him.
mythalenaste: (and the new sun's day gave birth)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-03 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Her brow furrows at the first joke. Not good timing for that one. But then there's a blanket and food to pick at, and she leans against him, her head on his shoulder, and listens. Her expression lightens as he reads, and eventually his jokes earn smiles that are progressively wider and longer lasting.

It's during one of his pauses, while he's rereading a bit, that she finally speaks.

"Maybe it's for the best. I can choose my own clanmates now. I can choose my daughter's clanmates. And when she's grown, she will be able to choose her own clanmates. But that's very hard to believe when I know everyone plans to go their separate ways after this."
Edited 2017-04-03 23:45 (UTC)
mythalenaste: (tá 'n saol ina gcodladh ach mé)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-04 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
"But I'm old enough to know who everyone is," Pel says, voice going breathy as her throat tries to close up again. "And the people I choose...there's no reason they should choose me back. Everyone has something more important. You have to be a Warden. James has to be a Templar. You don't have any choice about that. And the people who don't have to do things...maybe Cyril could be around, but he wants to make life better for the Dalish and that means spending most of his time away. I don't have anyone for whom I'm the priority. I thought I did, I thought there were these mythical parents who gave me up for my own good, that they'd welcome me back the moment they had the chance--and none of that was true. It's so selfish of me, but there's really no evidence that it's going to be anyone but Sina and me. That was never what I wanted. I wanted a better life for her than the one I had. I wanted a better life for me."
Edited 2017-04-04 02:48 (UTC)
mythalenaste: (I'll wait the signs to come)

[personal profile] mythalenaste 2017-04-04 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Work itself out. Pel is so used to earning everything she has. It's hard to trust in something working itself out. But Alistair is right. She can't ensure things working out through hard work. Luck, or maybe faith, has to factor into any peace of mind she has.

She's silent for a moment, letting the panic slowly release her and fly away.

"You're right," she says at last. "Of course you're right. Thank you."
Edited 2017-04-04 15:25 (UTC)