Someone I don't trust was just promoted over my head and it...sort of made me realize how hard it must be for you to endure Loghain. Wanting to declare him a snake and a liar and realizing everyone already knows everything you know and it's never changed their minds before. I'm not saying it's comparable, I just...wanted you to know you can talk to me.
Yeah. I mean, it's not that he's single-handedly caused the deaths of people I love, he was just. A dick. And only to me, apparently. But he's not even over my project, so I have some wiggle room.
[ He hesitates. It is probably not cool of him to point out that it's been nearly a year, as far as he knows, since Thranduil was a jerk, when Alistair is still brooding over something that happened over a decade ago, even if the scale of the injury is vastly different. ]
He's always seemed all right to me, in a formal and unfairly tall intimidating sort of way. Not that he wasn't a dick, but everyone is a dick sometimes. And rifters, you know, they're... [ He makes a face. Several faces, actually, in a row, trying to think how not to be flippant or offensive. ] When I got stuck in the Chantry I made everyone around me miserable for years. I can't imagine being stuck in new world.
I know that. [The words are a touch sharp, but then she gives a sigh and it's softer.] In my head, I know that. But what happens when I act like it's all right for someone to treat me that way? I...
[Need to unpack. Need to say the things lost in the cloud. Need to take a good look at the monster before kicking it out. She closes her eyes.]
I'm not good at letting things go. Any time I'm hurt, it's like I soak it up and hold onto it so it'll protect me. And maybe that would've worked, if I'd become a Keeper, but it doesn't work here. But a Keeper is the only thing I actually know how to be. It's all I was taught. Nothing about dealing with peers outside of a clan, besides trade etiquette and so on. From my earliest memory, everything was put to me in the context of me being a Keeper one day. So I don't know what to do with Thranduil. I don't like people treating him like he could show us all how to be real elves, like we've not been doing it right. If he'd been clan and I was Keeper, he'd've been punished for it once and we'd've been over it a long time ago. But he's not, and I'm not, and I don't know how to know where we stand.
[ Alistair can't really wrap his head around being raised to think the way to deal with people was to punish them. To have that right. He's quiet for a few beats, then offers, sounding mainly puzzled, ] Do you want me to try to arrange a meeting?
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Someone I don't trust was just promoted over my head and it...sort of made me realize how hard it must be for you to endure Loghain. Wanting to declare him a snake and a liar and realizing everyone already knows everything you know and it's never changed their minds before. I'm not saying it's comparable, I just...wanted you to know you can talk to me.
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[ He hesitates. It is probably not cool of him to point out that it's been nearly a year, as far as he knows, since Thranduil was a jerk, when Alistair is still brooding over something that happened over a decade ago, even if the scale of the injury is vastly different. ]
He's always seemed all right to me, in a formal and unfairly tall intimidating sort of way. Not that he wasn't a dick, but everyone is a dick sometimes. And rifters, you know, they're... [ He makes a face. Several faces, actually, in a row, trying to think how not to be flippant or offensive. ] When I got stuck in the Chantry I made everyone around me miserable for years. I can't imagine being stuck in new world.
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[Need to unpack. Need to say the things lost in the cloud. Need to take a good look at the monster before kicking it out. She closes her eyes.]
I'm not good at letting things go. Any time I'm hurt, it's like I soak it up and hold onto it so it'll protect me. And maybe that would've worked, if I'd become a Keeper, but it doesn't work here. But a Keeper is the only thing I actually know how to be. It's all I was taught. Nothing about dealing with peers outside of a clan, besides trade etiquette and so on. From my earliest memory, everything was put to me in the context of me being a Keeper one day. So I don't know what to do with Thranduil. I don't like people treating him like he could show us all how to be real elves, like we've not been doing it right. If he'd been clan and I was Keeper, he'd've been punished for it once and we'd've been over it a long time ago. But he's not, and I'm not, and I don't know how to know where we stand.
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